Tag Archives: saudi arabia

Celebrating 1,000 Views: That’s All You Got?

Internet junkies and people who trying Internet just this one time!  Today is a historic day for those of you who stop and pay attention to something truly astonishing.  This website, that I so graciously began so that you can read all my incoherent ramblings, has finally reached 1,000 views!  Seeing as I have only had 567 visitors to the site, doubling the views ain’t so bad!

But this is not enough people.  Have you not read the title of this website?  You Didn’t Ask, But I’ll Answer.  Just because you haven’t asked, does not mean you don’t deserve an answer.  People need to know what they don’t care about.  Just as I am not satisfied with this result, neither should you.

Tell more people about this site.  Shove it in their faces that they are missing the opportunity of a lifetime.  Tell them about that one time I called Saudi Arabia a BDSM nation.  Remember that?  I don’t, but as lovers of this site, you should!

So get out there on your different social media sites.  Go on Twitter and Facebook and Myspace (it still exists!?), go to message boards and comments boxes and Instagram, go all over the web to any place that you can find that allows to insert text then copy/paste this link to them right now!  Because no one should be left in the cold and alone without any idea that I am here to offer them a blanket that I know no longer use.  It has a big hole in it.  I didn’t have sewing equipment so I just give it away as is.

If everyone who visits this site tells others, and those people tell other people they know, then we might just hit 2,000 views by the end of next year.

Your broke and spiritless author,

Cameron Campbell

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Dildo, 5 Dollar!

http://www.wired.com/2015/02/best-sex-toys/?mbid=social_twitter

What an amazing read! And finally, men of caliber lower than my own can truly satisfy a woman with this aid. It’s revolutionary in its ability to please, unlike other dildos. They just fuck, and no woman wants that!

This dildo has the added bonus of batteries and a glove (according to the picture). You can be porking your wife in Star Wars cosplay and use the force to ram her in a galaxy far far away.

As impressed as I am by this new technology, I am also appalled by it. This new device is in direct violation of my copyrighted technique, “crouching finger, hidden clit”. But it’s more than that! Using tools are an attack on free, vanilla sex that the bible says is the one and only type of sex that has ever existed.

So chant with me internet, “We’re not Gois, no sex toys!” And maybe, with enough support, we can get our government to outlaw them! Remember Saudi Arabia, Iraq, and Africa? Finally we can follow the example of their religious police. And all we have to do is prove to women that all men can be as wonderful as myself when the bass drops.

On second thought, maybe not. I guess the tool is the only way to assure pleasure. After all, it was designed to know that area from its early existence. Who are we to tell that tool it can’t travel down under? It doesn’t want to work on anything else! So I say go, don’t stop, and come when you’re ready to my bedroom, and you shall be welcomed warmly to my home.

Your sexually open speaker,
Cameron Cambell