Tag Archives: obama

Sunday Review: The 2nd Amendment

Gun control, the only phrase that can truly create fear in Yosemite Sam.  It is also a famous stop for Republican candidates, who appear to believe that gun control is like cancer: once you get it, it will kill you.  This is a slight misconstruing of the facts since gun control is not contractable through DNA or poor life choices.  Some people may even argue that it is a good life choice.  But that is just a foolish notion, as some Republicans continue to argue in defense of the good ol’ 2nd Amendment.

For a little fun, let us keep in mind when the 2nd Amendment was written.  The year, 1780’s or something like that.  The Americans have just defeated the British, proving that they are better in the second half of a match.  The founding coaches want people to have a certain amount of autonomy in the team, in case another Emperor attempts to take over the entire galaxy.  This is a time when no organized army exists, everyone and their grandmother has a gun, and the guns are single shot semi-accurate rifles.  Compared to today where you can fire a few hundred rounds in seconds.

Obama made a few comments about his plan to try and control flagrant misuse of guns through new gun control laws.  Whether these are more helpful or not in the long run in stopping gun violence is unknown.  One thing is certain: doing nothing cannot make the situation better.  Luckily, Republicans are willing to argue that doing nothing is the right thing to do.  Marco Rubio claimed during the last debate that Obama has been planning to take all the guns and would do it, if not for the 2nd Amendment.  And as we all know, no one has ever found a way around the Constitution.

I would include a video of Republicans denouncing any gun control, but it is a rather easy search on Google or YouTube.  It’s funny at first.  Then it gets a little sad when you realize they are serious.  Funny again when they say something insane.  Then scary when they offer no real alternative to gun control laws.

Back in ’96, Australia had a terrible mass shooting.  Soon after, they implemented strict gun regulation that significantly reduced gun-related deaths and have not had a mass shooting since that year.  Compare to the United States now where mass shootings may become so normal that abominable snowman Wolf Blitzer might stop covering those stories in his situation room.

This is not to say that we need to do exactly what Australia did.  People have a different relationships with guns here.  It is not that no one is trustworthy.  Things will go wrong at times.  People will still die by gun wounds, whether self-inflicted, by accident, or on purpose.  But by changing the laws, by attempting to do something, we might be able to bring those numbers down.  I cannot say whether the gun plans of Democratic candidates or the president himself will make any impact on gun-related crime.  That takes time to see results.  But I know that what they have suggested is more than what Marco Rubio has said on his site.

Telling the gun freaks that you will not be taking away their brides is great.  Defending the Constitution is also great.  And making sure that, in a little and insignificant way, people feel safe with their weapons is also great.  But when you see a problem, recognize there is a problem, then proceed to ignore and even deter any attempts to deal with the problem, you are no longer a hero.  You’re an enabler of fear, of misunderstanding, and misunderstanding the notion of what it means ‘to protect and uphold the Constitution’.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

The ideas encompassed in this preamble are the ones that are in jeopardy when we allow people to sway us with emotional arguments that have no basis in fact or even sense.  Republicans and Democrats both do this.  Please, don’t listen to any of them.  They are not working for us.  They are working for our alien overlords who have promised to return in the year 2016.  It is clearly written on the walls of the Pyramids.  I’ve seen pictures, and the alien trapped within my body told me what the symbols mean.  Remember this well, my human brothers.  Use your 2nd Amendment right to shoot your way through anyone who tries to stop you from shooting your gun at potential aliens.  They are also aliens and they want to see you without a gun.

Your duo spirited speaker,

Cameron Campbell (Possessed by Andrew Cinko the Alien)

Which Apocalypse Pony is Obama?

I know what you’re thinking if you’re a conservative like me, and no, this is not a toy that is being created so we can use it against Obama.  But it is a well known fact that he is a part of the apocalypse. If you didn’t know this, then you must not be a true conservative.

Last week, Michele Bachmann was kind enough to put out the truth about Obama for the whole world to see how he is attempting to tear down our government so that the devil can move in to the White House.  For example, his attempt to weaken our relationship with Israel. Sure, the prime minister was voted in after saying that he would no longer support a two-state system, but does that mean Obama shouldn’t support him?  After all, Israel is our greatest ally in keeping the peace in the middle.  I feel like we could trust them to be an honorary peace corp!

But Obama doesn’t seem to share her-I’m sorry-our conservative views on Israel, even going so far as turning down her plan to bomb Palestine  back to whatever came before what they have now.  It is obvious to Michele, as well as myself, that Obama clearly doesn’t care about the people he is meant to be protecting.  And now, when his last term ever is about to end, is when we should be boycotting his kingly reign.

Sure, some people may claim that if we wanted to remove him from office it should have been done BEFORE he was elected again.  And yes, it could be argued that some of his mistakes were forced from him because foreign leaders can’t stop fighting over who deserves the most nuclear toys and land.  Or, if you’re really crazy, argue that Obama has been under so much pressure that he has given up his hair and youthful look just to try and help even a little, even when he failed.

But we all know none of that is true.  The aging process was rushed because the devil is getting impatient and is sucking the life away from his most avid supporter, Obama: the Nigerian-Hawaiian green card baby demon.  And who knows what he will do if we let him stay in office for the next few months after being their for eight years.  Thank you Michele Bachmann, hopefully we can open some eyes to the lies they are being fed from fact-based news outlets, p.h.d political scientists, and people like us.

Your politico-religious zealot,

Cameron Campbell