Cameron is angry! And for once it isn’t because my fantasy football team was rearranged by my English girlfriend. Someone needs to tell her that Beckham plays soccer and not football! No, this time I am upset because apparently pop culture is now forcing me to accept kiddie porn as ‘natural’. In Sia’s new music video, she displays the bodies of Maddie Ziegler and Shia LaBeouf in near-nudity fighting each other within a cage. A cage, as we all know, is a symbol of capture that has been frequently used in films to misrepresent how we contain our criminals. They are not in a cage, but in cells that have bars and no clear form of escape, which is nothing like a cage. A cage is what we call the basement of sickos who only want to have sex in completely unnatural ways (remember my talk about S&M and Saudi Arabia? Like them!). People have complained that the video promotes pedophilia, and frankly I must agree, but it is not just the video, it is also the lyrics.
Just listen to this, “And another one bites the dust/Oh why can I not conquer love?” That sounds like a confession from Sia, not only of the children she keeps in her basement, but also of murder. But this conspiracy of artists singing their sins has been around for a long time. Remember the song “Another one bites the dust” by Queen? It is filled with the multiple methods that Queen ruined the lives of dozens of people, yet they only name one. Steve, with his hat, and machine guns (No gun control in the 80’s?). The truly sick fact about Sia’s song is that she never gives us a number to her victims. How many children has she touched? Are the dancers complicit in her illegal activities? And where was Shia LaBeouf all this time? Was he trapped in the basement too?
And who knows, perhaps this is only the tip of the iceberg of her crimes. “You got me pushing imaginary buttons/step away from me lover” could be a confession of public nudity and sex. “On a night like this/get out of misery” possible drug use? I’m thinking meth. And this is only one artist! We haven’t even begun to discuss Maroon 5’s multiple counts of stalking and possible kidnapping charges in “Animals”. We mustn’t let these artists think that we are fooled by the claim that these videos are “full of artistic meaning”. Because all of us who cannot stop seeing sex in everything we view know that sex is definitely involved, even after being told it is not about sex. Why is that? Not because we are obsessed. It is because everything we see reminds us of sex. As Sigmund Freud once said, “I need unt miss sex!” Because there is no one in the world who is more trustworthy than a quack like Dr. Freud
Your local sex offender,