As a nation we are now entering a state that i call the nanny phase-as in we feel the need to cuddle our children so much that they feel more powerful than the adults, especially the parents. This may be viewed as progressive theories reaching into our society and healing ailments such as physical beatdowns that some children are still forced to feel today. Internet nation, I’m here to tell you that this theory is full of the poo that my mother used to be kind enough to clean out of my diaper. Now that job falls on my secretary.
Nau we teech childrin its ohkai wen thingz r rong. We uhlau them tu du watevr thei pleez. That is knot ohkai. I dohnt waunt that from mi kidz.
Did you want a full argument? With complete sentences? And proper grammar? Well blame the children who raised me, also known as my teachers. Reeding and riting r tu huird! But we have spell check now so I can look as intelligent as I want no matter how bad my grammar may be.
Now the purpose is to show you how terrible children can be. My childhood is just one example. Many, if not all (but definitely all children), have it out for the parents, as shown by the toys thrown about randomly on the floor, or the bomb placed under my mother’s bed that still hasn’t exploded. Yet that is not all of their agenda. And if I could share with you their plans then it would have been posted the very first day I began sharing with you the opinion you never wanted. But my lips are sealed. I made a pinky promise and I don’t want to know what happens if you break those. If the president of the free world is okay with water torture, what do you think they would do with me, who broke a greater law than terrorists?
Rather than imagine, I would rather not risk the punishment of sharing super secret secrets from my childhood that were made in my basement’s couch fort. You want answers as to how to solve the problem? Well, too bad. I guess you’ll just have to wait until the children do what they do. Just remember to clean up afterwards.
Your unfaithful man-child,