A shepherd is here to lead you into the new year! Now I know with a new year comes the ‘same old same old’, but that won’t be true for 2016. This is the year that we should think bigger, imagine harder, and use more Viagra to get harder and longer-lasting hard-ons! I feel that I lost track of what I was discussing, but to be clear, I do not have a problem. It was a long day and I was tired.
So, to try and help you get started for this exciting and young year, I decided that instead of giving you the answers, I thought I would offer you some questions. Warning: these questions should not be posed to a particular group of people. I can’t mention them directly since I’m their bitch, but you have been warned. Don’t go near THEM.
Pending anymore interruptions from the reptilians…No, I only said it because Jeff said it-oh good, they took Jeff. Anyway, on with the questions!
When is a good time to ask your doctor about getting the new and exciting miracle cure?
Answer: A man doesn’t ask, he takes.
(I couldn’t resist giving an answer. Sue me. But know that I have some very good imagination lawyers. Then can do high multiplication.)
When will people remember what matters and work towards a future that will make things better for all?
Correction: Why should I make things better for all, if I can make things better for me? Eventually my “wellness” will trickle down into society. Think about it.
When is the best time to have sex with a girl: after kidnapping her or in the middle of a mash pit?
Answer: You should have a blow-up doll waiting at home.
Do you know the muffin man?
Correction: Do you know about the muffin man’s cocaine addiction?
Will there be another Justin Bieber album?
Answer: It’s 2016, right? Get over it.
I would apologize for the answers to some of these questions, but you came here for answers first. Please don’t stick to my answers if you don’t like them. Feel free to find your own. But beware, if they are not correct, you will be put on a humiliation display that will rival the whore shaming shackles of old! So go out and be free my sheep, until I send my dogs to recollect you and put you back in your pen.
Your master who is servant to another master,