The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 20 trips to carry that many people.
My dear followers,
This may be the most exciting thing that you read about the year that we know as 2015. Now as I know some of you can get distracted by all the pretty colors and lights in the background, I will attempt to give you a quick explanation about the page.
It starts by talking about how my page is like a San Francisco Tram. I think they mean that I can take you around the city and smell like a port a potty in the summer heat all year round. Not sure why that is appealing, but there must be a few smell fetishists who read this website. All across the board, the most popular post this year was What Brand Race Are You? It had the most views. This isn’t a surprise since most people don’t know they are of a race. I’m a Syfy and proud of it!
Though many of you have been diligent and pay attention to this wonderful page, others have not been tuning in to hear the answers to questions they haven’t asked. I know you read other blogs, watched television shows, and the occasional porno for business purposes. We all make mistakes. I understand that. I have a young intern who makes mistakes all the time (I don’t personally make mistakes, I’m perfect). But those are all in the past now. Those were the mistakes of 2015. I’m sure in 2016, you will all do the right thing and come to this blog. It does, after all, contain the answers to all your unasked questions.
So whether you didn’t ask about why your cat doesn’t meow after death, or how a car battery can best be used to hurt a person, come to this blog! It’s guaranteed to have at least one answer that will have you asking, “Who in their right mind would ever ask that question?”
Your out-of-touch-with-reality spokesman,
P.S. If you have a question for Cameron Campbell or the (real) author of this site, either about the past year or the upcoming year, send an email to email@example.com
P.S.S.-A Note From The Author-Thank you so much for such a great year everyone! Its been really fun getting to vaguely know some of you and to share my brand of comedy with people who appear to understand what I am saying. It’s been a really fun experience creating all these wonderfully ridiculous stories for you all. I look forward to another year with you and hope that you all come back for what should be an exciting second year on this blog!