Cameron Campbell hear to tell all masochists that I have found for them the perfect location to practice their sick fetish! You may disagree if you’re a masochist, but the Bible taught me that anything but fucking to have twelve children in the bedroom is a sin. But Saudi Arabia has found a clever away around that sin by making it an imperative governmental punishment.
Flogging! The greatest torture of love. Invented by the Catholics during the witch trials and the hunting of the Jews to please the non-believers right before they climaxed during the ritual burning or drowning. Flogging, as it is used today, is a dirty action within the bedrooms of sinners and businessmen (businessmen not being considered human). The pride with which flogging has been revered throughout the years is realized in the incarceration of a blogger who criticized Saudi Arabian government and their strict adherence to Islamic law. He now sits in his cell awaiting his masters to take him out the dungeon and into a public venue to receive his fifty lashes each Friday until he reaches 1,000 strikes, like a good boy. It is unconfirmed at the moment whether he wanted to be arrested to receive his punishment for being naughty.
One man, not knowing the history of flogging, decided that this action taken by the Saudis was wrong and unjustified. The U.N. HIGH commissioner for human rights posted on his website earlier this week, “In my opinion, at the very least, flogging is an inhuman punishment.” How dare he post that on his website! If that is his personal opinion, then he should post it on a blog or post it in a diary next to his bed. But to sully his official website with such words leaves an unsavory flavor in my breakfast cereal. If he is a member of the United Nations, then he must know that it is not his place to do anything about this incident. In fact, I don’t know if the U.N. could do anything even if they wanted to. I’m not even sure that they exist! Someone call a U.N. number and see if anyone but a monkey voice answers. If a person answers, then you must test to see if they are smarter than a monkey.
The only ones who can stop them is a global force for good, the good ol’ U.S. of A. (Why the United States of Apparel?). However we, as good ol’ God-fearing people, know that interfering with this blogger’s punishment will be an attack against God’s will, as he wants us to keep flogging those who resist the path of his religion. Even if it is the unconfirmed new branch of Islam that isn’t really God but Allah, it is still a monotheistic God (Allah) and I, personally, at the very least, will not risk them being one and the same person! I hear Allah is exactly like the God of the Old Testament (Yahweh).
So Vive la Saudi Arabia! Their implementation of an ancient punishment to humiliate, torture, and drive fear into the hearts of men matches exactly with the Old World Order where we fear our government and their ability to make us orgasm in public. We Americans can learn from Saudi Arabia. Instead of torturing our terrorists behind closed doors, we should nail them to crosses and hang them on Main Streets all across the nation. That won’t look symbolic at all! If any punishment is explicitly mentioned in a religious book, we of America should ensure that strict adherence to those laws shall be followed, as Saudi Arabia exemplifies for all of us to witness, including the United Nations (anyone call yet?), a multitude of human rights movements, and the Saudi Arabian people. They are the only ones who understand that humans have no right to create laws, only books from many centuries ago that no longer adhere with the human condition can do so.
The man following the examples of Saudi Arabia in the court of my bedroom,