Kommunist Kindergartners Kill Kapitalism (aind gramer)

As a nation we are now entering a state that i call the nanny phase-as in we feel the need to cuddle our children so much that they feel more powerful than the adults, especially the parents. This may be viewed as progressive theories reaching into our society and healing ailments such as physical beatdowns that some children are still forced to feel today. Internet nation, I’m here to tell you that this theory is full of the poo that my mother used to be kind enough to clean out of my diaper. Now that job falls on my secretary.

Nau we teech childrin its ohkai wen thingz r rong.  We uhlau them tu du watevr thei pleez.  That is knot ohkai.  I dohnt waunt that from mi kidz.

Did you want a full argument?  With complete sentences?  And proper grammar?  Well blame the children who raised me, also known as my teachers.  Reeding and riting r tu huird!  But we have spell check now so I can look as intelligent as I want no matter how bad my grammar may be.

Now the purpose is to show you how terrible children can be.  My childhood is just one example.  Many, if not all (but definitely all children), have it out for the parents, as shown by the toys thrown about randomly on the floor, or the bomb placed under my mother’s bed that still hasn’t exploded.  Yet that is not all of their agenda.  And if I could share with you their plans then it would have been posted the very first day I began sharing with you the opinion you never wanted.  But my lips are sealed.  I made a pinky promise and I don’t want to know what happens if you break those.  If the president of the free world is okay with water torture, what do you think they would do with me, who broke a greater law than terrorists?

Rather than imagine, I would rather not risk the punishment of sharing super secret secrets from my childhood that were made in my basement’s couch fort.  You want answers as to how to solve the problem?  Well, too bad.  I guess you’ll just have to wait until the children do what they do.  Just remember to clean up afterwards.

Your unfaithful man-child,

Cameron Campbell

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Lindsay Lohan Is Trying to Pass Off Meet-and-Greets as Community Service

The Lohan machine plows through the snow of law and heads straight for the side of the house. She may destroy public property, but at least the plow cleans up some streets and the debris afterwards.
Cameron Campbell

TIME

Lindsay Lohan has been accused of trying to include socializing with fans as some of the 80 hours of community service she was supposed to perform for a 2012 reckless driving charge.

Lohan, 28, reportedly included meeting several fans during a stage production of Speed-the-Plow, in which she starred in the U.K. last year, as part of the mandatory 4,800 minutes she had to spend benefiting the community.

Her lawyer, Shawn Holley, appeared in court Wednesday to submit a dossier of documents outlining the Mean Girls actress’s community service hours, which Lohan claims were completed in nine days. Lohan also apparently awarded herself hours for allowing star-struck fans to shadow her, reports USA Today.

“I’d love to hang out with a celebrity all day and see their life, but that’s not community service,” said prosecutor Terry White, who has until Feb. 18 to demonstrate Lohan did not fulfill her…

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Sia: Promoting Art, or Kiddie Porn?

 

Cameron is angry!  And for once it isn’t because my fantasy football team was rearranged by my English girlfriend.  Someone needs to tell her that Beckham plays soccer and not football!  No, this time I am upset because apparently pop culture is now forcing me to accept kiddie porn as ‘natural’.  In Sia’s new music video, she displays the bodies of Maddie Ziegler and Shia LaBeouf in near-nudity fighting each other within a cage.  A cage, as we all know, is a symbol of capture that has been frequently used in films to misrepresent how we contain our criminals.  They are not in a cage, but in cells that have bars and no clear form of escape, which is nothing like a cage.  A cage is what we call the basement of sickos who only want to have sex in completely unnatural ways (remember my talk about S&M and Saudi Arabia?  Like them!).  People have complained that the video promotes pedophilia, and frankly I must agree, but it is not just the video, it is also the lyrics.

Just listen to this, “And another one bites the dust/Oh why can I not conquer love?”  That sounds like a confession from Sia, not only of the children she keeps in her basement, but also of murder.  But this conspiracy of artists singing their sins has been around for a long time.  Remember the song “Another one bites the dust” by Queen?  It is filled with the multiple methods that Queen ruined the lives of dozens of people, yet they only name one.  Steve, with his hat, and machine guns (No gun control in the 80’s?).  The truly sick fact about Sia’s song is that she never gives us a number to her victims.  How many children has she touched?  Are the dancers complicit in her illegal activities?  And where was Shia LaBeouf all this time?  Was he trapped in the basement too?

And who knows, perhaps this is only the tip of the iceberg of her crimes.  “You got me pushing imaginary buttons/step away from me lover”  could be a confession of public nudity and sex.  “On a night like this/get out of misery”  possible drug use?  I’m thinking meth.  And this is only one artist!  We haven’t even begun to discuss Maroon 5’s multiple counts of stalking and possible kidnapping charges in “Animals”.  We mustn’t let these artists think that we are fooled by the claim that these videos are “full of artistic meaning”.  Because all of us who cannot stop seeing sex in everything we view know that sex is definitely involved, even after being told it is not about sex.  Why is that?  Not because we are obsessed.  It is because everything we see reminds us of sex.  As Sigmund Freud once said, “I need unt miss sex!”  Because there is no one in the world who is more trustworthy than a quack like Dr. Freud

Your local sex offender,

Cameron Campbell

http://womenintheology.org/2015/01/09/elastic-hearts-and-young-bodies-on-children-art-and-rape-culture/

“Do Moderates Exist?” What Are You, A Gay Vegan?

I am an extremist! I believe in taking the most difficult and harshest view on the hottest topics. I want people to hear my views and immediately hate me and no longer feel the need to talk with me. And what better way to scare someone away than to tell them that I support gun toting, abortion hating, right flank, conservative, bull headed rich white guys.  And I am absolutely set in my ways, even if the society tells me that my ideas are obsolete or outdated.  And if I am dealing with one of those types of people, then I am a big government loving, tax raising, abortion supporting, liberal minority who thinks that government is the answer to all of my problems.

Do these views appear to be contradictory and no person should be claiming to be both?  The answer to both of those is yes.  So then what is a moderate?  It is a being that cannot exist within this realm of political upheaval that is called the United States.  Sure, most of the country may be somewhere between these two parties we call Democrat and Republican.  And sure, maybe people are looking for someone who can use ideas from both parties to truly solve the issues that belong to the government.  Now as great as that may sound, You forget that those people are gay, facist, vegan, atheists who want to destroy this country and let the terrorists win.  The terrorists win?  Do you really want that to happen?  No, none of us do!  So join an extremist side, or choose a side based on who is in front of you, because our lack of bipartisanship in the government is the only way that we can keep this government so funny and unable to complete a single important task.

Your confused life coach,

Cameron Campbell

Saudi Arabia loves S&M

Cameron Campbell hear to tell all masochists that I have found for them the perfect location to practice their sick fetish!  You may disagree if you’re a masochist, but the Bible taught me that anything but fucking to have twelve children in the bedroom is a sin.  But Saudi Arabia has found a clever away around that sin by making it an imperative governmental punishment.

Flogging!  The greatest torture of love.  Invented by the Catholics during the witch trials and the hunting of the Jews to please the non-believers right before they climaxed during the ritual burning or drowning.  Flogging, as it is used today, is a dirty action within the bedrooms of sinners and businessmen (businessmen not being considered human).  The pride with which flogging has been revered throughout the years is realized in the incarceration of a blogger who criticized Saudi Arabian government and their strict adherence to Islamic law.  He now sits in his cell awaiting his masters to take him out the dungeon and into a public venue to receive his fifty lashes each Friday until he reaches 1,000 strikes, like a good boy.  It is unconfirmed at the moment whether he wanted to be arrested to receive his punishment for being naughty.

One man, not knowing the history of flogging, decided that this action taken by the Saudis was wrong and unjustified.  The U.N. HIGH commissioner for human rights posted on his website earlier this week, “In my opinion, at the very least, flogging is an inhuman punishment.”  How dare he post that on his website!  If that is his personal opinion, then he should post it on a blog or post it in a diary next to his bed.  But to sully his official website with such words leaves an unsavory flavor in my breakfast cereal.  If he is a member of the United Nations, then he must know that it is not his place to do anything about this incident.  In fact, I don’t know if the U.N. could do anything even if they wanted to.  I’m not even sure that they exist!  Someone call a U.N. number and see if anyone but a monkey voice answers.  If a person answers, then you must test to see if they are smarter than a monkey.

The only ones who can stop them is a global force for good, the good ol’ U.S. of A. (Why the United States of Apparel?).  However we, as good ol’ God-fearing people, know that interfering with this blogger’s punishment will be an attack against God’s will, as he wants us to keep flogging those who resist the path of his religion.  Even if it is the unconfirmed new branch of Islam that isn’t really God but Allah, it is still a monotheistic God (Allah) and I, personally, at the very least, will not risk them being one and the same person!  I hear Allah is exactly like the God of the Old Testament (Yahweh).

So Vive la Saudi Arabia!  Their implementation of an ancient punishment to humiliate, torture, and drive fear into the hearts of men matches exactly with the Old World Order where we fear our government and their ability to make us orgasm in public.  We Americans can learn from Saudi Arabia.  Instead of torturing our terrorists behind closed doors, we should nail them to crosses and hang them on Main Streets all across the nation.  That won’t look symbolic at all!  If any punishment is explicitly mentioned in a religious book, we of America should ensure that strict adherence to those laws shall be followed, as Saudi Arabia exemplifies for all of us to witness, including the United Nations (anyone call yet?), a multitude of human rights movements, and the Saudi Arabian people.  They are the only ones who understand that humans have no right to create laws, only books from many centuries ago that no longer adhere with the human condition can do so.

The man following the examples of Saudi Arabia in the court of my bedroom,

Cameron Campbell

 

https://shamilaghyas.wordpress.com/tag/raif-badawi/